Contemplating Eternity

Then at the end of the tunnel the light dimmed down and the trumpets faded. No need to steady my breathing at this point. The only logical conclusion was that death was eminent and no one would survive.

I leaned forward to get a better look but the tunnel would not allow it. The closer I got to the edge the stronger the pull. Like gravity on a planet too close to the sun; I could feel it crushing my bones.

I wasn't ready to go through just yet. Though part of me was curious about the world on the other side. Were they right? Was it over populated with angels? Or did they get it wrong and it was over run by demons? Was the life I left, the closest to heaven I would ever be? It sure felt like it at this point. Trapped in this limbo, trying to decide whether I stayed or whether I proceeded with caution.

"Personally, I don't believe in hell." Rodney said to me once. "'I believe hell is something you carry around with you. Not somewhere you go.'" He constantly quoted Gaiman,  an attempt to seem intellectual. That statement in particular started a pretty heated debate between he and my Aunt Ruby.

"How could there be salvation from damnation of hell if we're carrying it with us everyday?"

"What do you think self-help books are for? Or therapy? Or addiction counseling?" The Chess match continued.

I sit here now, in this metaphor, positioned between the then and there, and I ponder Rodney's statement. I roll it between the grooves of my brain and consider the possibility. If I've been living with hell inside me everywhere I go, then what's at the end of the tunnel can't be that bad.

I stand, arch my back and press my way through the light. I inhale deeply because it almost feels like I'm suffocated by the pressure. Finally all of my efforts are rewarded and I emerge to the other side surrounded ....surrounded by more light...and heat...